“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
~Martin Luther King Jr.
I knew my plan for tonight was to go for drinks with Jim and Mandy, in order to find out whether George had fallen for the Blondie or not, but after that recent event I wasn’t in the mood anymore. I texted Jim telling him what had happened and that I’d just go somewhere to think and calm down.
So, that August night I drove downtown, as I always used to do when I was feeling nervous and I wanted to put my thoughts back in order. The fact that he had made it perfectly clear that I wouldn’t disentangle myself from the relationship Michael still thought we were into, had tested the limits of my patience. And everybody knew how patient I was. Combined with Aaron’s erratic behavior, the whole situation was going to a whole new level; the Hollywood movie one! So, how could I avoid acting like a drama queen when the circumstances were turning me into one?
After half an hour of driving, without having a certain destination, I had reached the conclusion that only one way of behavior would benefit me from now on; indifference. Towards both of them. My father used to tell me that indifference was the biggest punishment for some people and I could see that right now. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction to even care about what they were saying. Aaron was part of the family and I had to endure him at times, but Michael was a… nobody!
Relieved for the mental strength I had shown earlier, telling Michael to leave, and proud of myself that I had taken my decisions, I returned home. It was almost midnight. Nonetheless, the attic’s lights were still on. It doesn’t matter, I thought. I would go straight to my room. Besides, Aaron and I didn’t have the habit to talk things out after every small or big fight we had. After all, that’s why we weren’t in best terms.
I went upstairs silently and I was surprised to see my step-brother sitting on the staircase that was leading to the attic. What the hell?
“Leda, can I talk to you for a second?” he asked me, looking very serious.
“There’s nothing to say,” I replied.
“There is. I shouldn’t have intruded into your personal life. It won’t happen again,” he went on, as if he hadn’t heard what I just said. That was always our communication problem; that Aaron cared only about what he wanted to say.
“Ok big bro,” I said while I was opening my bedroom’s door. He looked at me furiously. What kind of pills does he take anyway? I wondered.
“Good night, sis,” he replied and went up in the attic.
I was used to Aaron’s mood swings by now, so I didn’t put much effort in understanding what I had done to make him furious again. I just put my pjs on and made myself comfortable on my bed. I started reading the “Divine Comedy”, simply to kill my spare time till I was too tired and sleepy to keep on. I was reading the Purgatorio right now, thinking how selfish Aaron could be at times, to act like this, and how much rage Michael could be feeling.
I must have been reading for hours because my eyes became too heavy and I put my book aside, surrendering myself to that sweet sensation of sleep.
If I wasn’t that tired, I’d swear that someone had opened my bedroom’s door.
I was dreaming. The silhouette of a man and me. I didn’t know who he was. We were dancing right next to a lake. Little lights twinkling here and there. I was telling him I loved him. And in that moment I thought that every dream could come true.
I flinched on my bed. The sound of my cell phone had woken me up. I saw I had a new e-mail. I was still feeling woozy, so I opened it without much thought. I regretted it the same instant.
From: Michael Duran
Subject: You and I
To: Leda Anagnostou
Date: 8/19/14, 03:19 am
We haven’t broken up. I still love you. Don’t make me hate you.
© Victoria Moschou. All Rights Reserved 2016-2017.